Archive for August, 2008

Asking McCain in June

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 30, 2008 by mb007bpd

Good news, Diction-eers!  I was going to post about this yesterday, but I thought it would be a better surprise for today.  My local paper contacted me yesterday about asking Sen. McCain about Palin when he came to Fresno in June.  Not only did they repost the video on their newsblog, they also wrote an article appeared in the front section of the paper.  It’s amazing how, just a couple of months ago, we were still patiently waiting for our first blog comment back on Blogspot and weren’t even a part of the Draft Sarah Palin for VP community.  But, thanks to all your hard work, McCain has now chosen the right woman for the job.

BULLETPROOF DICTION CALLED IT!: ITS PALIN!!!

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 29, 2008 by mb007bpd

MCCAIN/PALIN ’08!  

Folks, I was the FIRST to ask Sen. McCain HIMSELF about Palin’s prospects as a VP choice all the way back in June at his rally in Fresno.  

Many congratulations to Gov. Palin and her family on this momentous occasion.  Also, many congratulations to Adam Brickley at Draft Sarah Palin for VP for getting the message out about the Governor.  

Let the race BEGIN!

Splicing Obama’s Speech Before He Delivers It

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 28, 2008 by mb007bpd

Thanks to the magic of the Internet (and, of course, Al Gore) I can analyze and translate parts Obama’s superspectacular, extraimagical, awesomentastical speech before it emanates from his luscious, honeyed tongue.

**BEGIN**

Four years ago, I stood before you and told you my story – of the brief union between a young man from Kenya and a young woman from Kansas who weren’t well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to.

Really?  Then why were you raised in Indonesia?

It is that promise that has always set this country apart – that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well.

Well, now there’s a pickup line…”Hey baby…you wanna ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams?”

It is why I stand here tonight. Because for two hundred and thirty two years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women – students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors — found the courage to keep it alive.

Keep the dream alive…by mopping the floor.  By the way…the end of this excerpt sounds disturbingly familiar to a line from my high school graduation speech.  I call hijinks!

We meet at one of those defining moments – a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more. 

Never mind that pesky economic growth this quarter.  What is this threat against “the American promise” anyway?  

Tonight, more Americans are out of work and more are working harder for less. More of you have lost your homes and more are watching your home values plummet. More of you have cars you can’t afford to drive, credit card bills you can’t afford to pay and tuition that is beyond your reach.

I feel your pain…from the wine cellar of my multi-million-dollar mansion that I got for a steal!  

Sorry you guys all leased cars you knew you couldn’t afford and bought things you knew you couldn’t pay for.

These challenges are not all of government’s making. But the failure to respond is a direct result of a broken politics in Washington and the failed presidency of George W. Bush. 

Yes, of course.  It’s Bush’s fault that you all bought houses, cars, clothes, and things you couldn’t afford with money you didn’t have.

America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.

Shame on you students who worked endless nights to graduate, soldiers who fought for our freedom, farmers who did backbreaking work in the fields, teachers who found faith in apathy, nurses who saved lives, and janitors who mopped acres of floors with Pine Sol.  It’s all your fault!  Especially if you elected Bush.  Children, this is known as condescension.

This moment – this election – is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look just like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: “Eight is enough.” 

“Chance to keep” (2008) = “Charge to keep” (2000)…Did Obama jut plagiarize…Bush ?

This is a nice way of saying that you must hate America if you vote for McCain.  Which is ludicrous, especially coming from Obama.

Doesn’t Obama realize that “Eight Is Enough” was one of the few hour-long TV shows to use a laugh track?  Just listen to the amplified acoustics when he delivers this line.

Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we’ll also hear about those occasions when he’s broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need. 

Uhhh…he didn’t just wear the uniform…he nearly DIED for it!  But shhh…let’s keep that under wraps.

But the record’s clear: John McCain has voted with George Bush ninety percent of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush was right more than ninety percent of the time? I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to take a ten percent chance on change.

I have yet to hear this statistic about “McCain voting with Bush 90% of the time,” but he keeps saying it so much that, as the saying goes, it became the truth.  

And how dare Sen. Obama implicitly question my judgment!  I believe that President Bush has been right 90% of the time.  So much for attracting independents.

You see, we Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in this country. 

Yes, it’s known as the Federal Government.  And we have seen how spectacularly that system works.

We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage; whether you can put away a little extra money at the end of each month so that you can someday watch your child receive her diploma. We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was President – when the average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead of down $2,000 like it has under George Bush. 

Once again, another empty, floating statistic.  Apparently they don’t measure progress by GDP.  They measure jobs by unemployment levels…which were exacerbated by the increases in the minimum wage that they passed.  Apparently, by their own measure, they have epically failed.  

We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a business, or whether the waitress who lives on tips can take a day off to look after a sick kid without losing her job – an economy that honors the dignity of work.

No economist in their right mind measures the strength of the economy solely on the number of billionaires or Fortune 500 profits.  And since when were you all so pro-small-business anyway?  According to your logic, let’s raise the taxes on small businesses, so we can make them take an even greater risk, so they can be unemployed, and then we can raise the minimum wage, so we can damage our best and brightest just a little more!

The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great – a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight.

Here we go with the ethereal “promises” again.  The only promises that the Democrats have given us are broken promises.

Change means a tax code that doesn’t reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it. 

Here we go with the small businesses again.  I guess Obama is once again following the logic of saying something enough times to obfuscate the true nature of your beliefs and policies about it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship our jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

Income redistribution under the guise of blind nationalism.  Brilliant.  

What about a small business that happens to partially use some overseas labor, like the fantastic new TV company Vizio based in Irvine, CA, that has based their success on being able to use less-expensive labor to make a better product than competitors, like Sony?  How about the CEO of Vizio, William Wang, who immigrated here from Taiwan at the age of 14…should we throw him and his livelihood under the hopenchaginess bus too?  There we go again…”helping” those small businesses.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I can tell when I’m being yanked.  This is one of those times.  

Not to mention the fact that all of this investment in “high-tech” leaves behind the unskilled workers you are so deftly trying to court with Biden.

I will cut taxes – cut taxes – for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class. 

I’ll believe it when I see it.  The fact that you have to repeat something twice makes me wonder just how sincere you were the first time you said it.  Not to mention…what about that poor, neglected, 5% of working families that you plan on ignoring?

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East. 

You can set as many “clear goal[s]” as you want…it doesn’t mean you can make it a reality.  And frankly, sir, I haven’t seen you display the ability to reach this goal in the first place.

Washington has been talking about our oil addiction for the last thirty years, and John McCain has been there for twenty-six of them. In that time, he’s said no to higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars, no to investments in renewable energy, no to renewable fuels. And today, we import triple the amount of oil as the day that Senator McCain took office. 

Yes of course.  The same old tactic of blaming the entire energy crisis on one man.  Except this time it surprisingly isn’t Bush.  And, apparently, because McCain said that there’s no need to pressure the already hurting auto companies who are already being blindsided by tyrannical, overarching, liberal unions, we should just blame him anyway for not telling them to fire more workers just to make a profit.  Economic naivete rears its ugly head again.

Now is the time to end this addiction, and to understand that drilling is a stop-gap measure, not a long-term solution. Not even close. 

Nobody ever called it a long-term solution.  They called it a short-term solution.  And for a man of such solutions, in a crisis that requires solutions, his solutions certainly aren’t solvent.

As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I’ll help our auto companies re-tool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I’ll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I’ll invest $150 billion over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy – wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and five million new jobs that pay well and can’t ever be outsourced.

How?  With who’s money?  Oh, that’s right.  Ours.  And where is the guarantee that those jobs won’t be outsourced?  Oh, that’s right.  There is no guarantee.  And will you actually “safely harness nuclear power?”  Fat chance.  Empty, empty rhetoric.  

We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don’t tell me that Democrats won’t defend this country. Don’t tell me that Democrats won’t keep us safe. The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans — Democrats and Republicans – have built, and we are to restore that legacy. 

By the two examples you cited, you are also the party of adulterers…not to mention Bill-Jeff.  Squandering a legacy?  Isn’t our legacy democracy and liberty?  On the contrary, I think that Bush has helped to extend out legacy to a section of the world that Obama would rather see devolve into animalistic chaos.

As Commander-in-Chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm’s way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home.

This is in no way different from President Bush.  Where’s the change we can believe in, Sen. Obama?

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, and finish the fight against al Qaeda and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing so that America is once more the last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future.

Define responsibly.  Try to do so without including words like “Rev. Wright” and “Bill Ayers.”  Because if that is responsibility, then I don’t want to see the way you would like to end the War in Iraq, Senator.  

We have seen how brilliantly Iran has responded to our diplomacy…while they continue to enrich uranium.

I am tired of hearing about “restoring America’s moral standing.”  As we have seen time and time again, the only ones that have brought “America’s moral standing” into question are deviants without a “moral standing.”

Verdict:

Frankly, Senator, I’m disappointed.  I gave you a chance.  On the 45th Anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech, I expected you to deliver change I could believe in.  Instead, you offered a nightmare of condescension, obfuscation, and outright dishonesty that I honestly can’t.

Former President and Current Dunce Jimmy Carter

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 28, 2008 by mb007bpd

Who keeps asking this guy for interviews?  The last time he was relevant, people were wearing platform shoes and sequins.

Moneyquotes:

On Obama:

Carter also spoke of the segregation he saw growing up and said racism is “always a subtle factor” in American politics. He called this November’s election possibly the most “momentous, important” election in the U.S. in the past 100 years, and he was confident that Obama could overcome the racial divide.

“If he loses by 2 or 3%, then I would certainly say that the racial issue was a major factor,” Carter said.

On Hillary:

Carter called Hillary Rodham Clinton’s speech at the convention “superb,” but questioned her for harping too heavily on her accomplishments in certain areas and merely saying that Obama shared those concerns.

On Bill:

Carter called former president Bill Clinton’s speech “perfect.” 

On Lieberman:

Carter said that Lieberman, Al Gore’s running mate in 2000, had cast his lot with the Republicans by deciding to speak at their convention.

I would hope that the Democrats could have enough senators elected in November so that we would not any longer need to include Joe Lieberman among the senators,” Carter said. Speaking of this week’s convention, Carter said “He would be the least welcome here of any Democrat I could think of.

On McCain:

Former president Jimmy Carter called Republican presidential candidate John McCain a “distinguished Naval officer,” but said the Arizona senator has been “milking every possible drop of advantage” from his time served as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

For a man who was carried to the White House on the backs of the media elite…wait a second…that sounds familiar!  

So let’s get this straight…according to Jimmuh:

If Obama wins, it’s destiny.  If he loses, it’s racism.  Who would want to be a part of a Ponzi scheme like that?

Hillary’s speech is superb, but she’s an egotist (unlike that poor, humble Obama.)

Bill’s speech was perfect, and apparently that’s all there is to say about that.

Lieberman is a Judas, which starts with “Ju”, which rhymes with Jooooooo.

McCain is a shameless-self promoter (totally unlike that guy y’all ran four short years ago.)

The fact that this guy got to the White House without wearing a camera and being accompnied by families from Iowa and a tour guide is a national disgrace.

Time Magazine: McCain is Belligerent, Angry

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 28, 2008 by mb007bpd

He used to be nice…but now…uhh…he’s an angry old man!

Note how the interview is only recanted in print, not on video, leaving us to take Time at their word.

What was so bad about that interview? When you ask loaded, slanted questions, what do you expect? Candidates should be more aggressive with the media and treat them less like friends at high tea and more like debate opponents. This is merely Time Magazine trying to make McCain look like an angry, belligerent old man, something the media as a whole has been trying to do a lot of lately.

(h/t Hot Air)

Joe Biden’s Speech Postmortem

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 27, 2008 by mb007bpd

¡Señor Contradicción por la vida!

  • I feel your pain…so I’m going to pretend to be a conservative now to attract you Hillary-supporting dolts.
  • John McCain is my friend…I would run with him if I could…but his judgment sucks!
  • You can make it anywhere with hard work…but the American Dream has died.

Joe Biden’s Speech Liveblog

Posted in Bulletproof Diction on August 27, 2008 by mb007bpd

**BEGIN**

-Congratulates wife, family

-Congratulates a bitter-looking Hillary

-Accepts VP-ship

-the 8 most dreaded words in the English language: “The Vice-President’s office is on the phone.” (wtf? was that supposed to be a joke?)

-Lessons from his deadbeat father, yada yada yada

-I feel bad for Joe Biden’s mom…

-“Bloody their nose so you can walk down the street next day” (advocating violence again?  McCain should pump up his security)

-“Everyone is your equal and everyone is equal to you” (verbiage attack!)

-I FEEL YOUR PAINNNNNN 

-“I can almost hear the conversation at their kitchen tables” (he’s hearing voices now…)

-FREUDIAN SLIP! “elect George…I mean…John McCain” (or Barack America)

-“I believe the measure of man is not the road he travels, but the choice he makes along that road” (sounds like a lifted quote)

-“Work is more of a paycheck.  It’s dignity.  It’s respect.” (then why do liberals dislike capitalism?)

-Listening to Biden, it’s almost like Obama has already been President…

-Platitudes, platitudes

-“I watched how Barack touched people” (oh, do tell…)

-“John McCain is my friend.  We’ve traveled the world together.” (so support him)

-“John has voted with President Bush 95%, and that is very hard to believe” (I didn’t know Bush was a Senator…)

-“That’s not change…that’s the same!” (Sounds like a Ronco informercial…where’s the rotisserie?)

-“When the Iraqis have a surplus of nearly $80 billion dollars” (apparently…that’s not a good thing?)

-“These times require more than a good soldier.  They require a wise leader.” (isn’t that what a good soldier is?)

-“Freeness from the grip of foreign oil” (Freness 2008 = Strategery 2000)

-“That’s the change we need”

-“He’ll never ever give up until we get equal pay for women!” (well…he only has 4 years…good luck!)

-“With Russia challenging the freedom of the newly independent country of Georgia”, “We will help Georgia rebuild” (somewhere, in Moscow, Putinedvedev is laughing it’s head off)

-Melissa Etheridge frowns at Biden talking about a resurgence in al-Qaeda and the Taliban

-“Should we trust John McCain’s judgment?” (more than Obama, hopefully)

-“On the most important national security issues of our time, John McCain was wrong and Barack Obama was proven right” (Obama took a position on something?  Guess I missed it.)

-Cites Lincoln, FDR, JFK as asking us to change (all three rolling around in their graves)

-“This is Obama’s time, this is America’s time!” (but is it Barack America’s time?)

**END**

-Biden’s wife: “and honey, tonight, we have a very special surprise guest” Joe: “Who?”

-OMGWTFAHHHLOLZZZ ITS OBAMAAAAAAAAAAA

-“I want everybody to now understand why I have Joe Biden, and Jill Biden, and Beau Biden, and Mama Biden” on stage

-“Michelle Obama kicked it off pretty well!”

-“If I’m not mistaken…Hillary Clinton rocked the house last night” (Hillary mouths thank you…or was it f— you?)

-“President Clinton reminds us of what it’s like to have a President that puts people first.” (or attractive young interns…)

-“Change in America doesn’t start from the Top Up…Top Down” (bottom up…bottom down…well…Change starts somewhere!)

-“I look forward to seeing you there” (see you there, Barac-rates!)

**END** (for realz)